Last week, I wrote a post on how I've hopped on the Facebook bandwagon, and how rewarding it has been in reconnecting with old friends who are now, in many cases, all over the world. Well, now Facebook has presented me with a dilemma.
You may not realise this about me, but I'm sort of a nerd. If I could be paid to read and study and think and discern, I would be beside myself with bliss and euphoria. Talk about eudaemonia! Not surprisingly, then, my childhood and adolescence was peppered with nasty girls who thought I was totally lame because I was so brainy. My best friend - we were in church school together - was friends with most of these catty, hate-filled girls, so her birthday parties were always "interesting" for me. We all ended up at the same highschool, but I didn't spend much time with her at school because she was always surrounded by these nasties. I am not complaining. I am entirely aware that I have a brain and a scholarly inclination that most parents long for in their children. I'm no dumb-ey, and I'm glad.
But just today, I logged onto Facebook to see what's new with my friends (one of them is coming to town next week, and we're making plans to get together!) and one of the very catty girls from so long ago wants to add me to her list of friends. Friends?! We were never friends! We had friends, no, FRIEND, in common, and that was it! Why does she suddenly want to be buddies now? Frankly, it's weirding me out, and I honestly don't know what I'm doing to do about it. Should I just add her to my list of friends, or should I block it? I realise that, in the big picture, it doesn't matter, but I don't feel like living my internet "life" completely differently from the way I live my "real" life. I don't want to turn into one of those people you run into after years who wears a big fake smile and says "Wow, it's so great to see you, we should have coffee, I'll give you a call!" when both of you know, she's never calling, we are never having coffee, and it's not even that great to see her. I refuse to become THAT person. But is it just rude not to add her? I don't know.
Like I said, it's a silly dilemma.
You may not realise this about me, but I'm sort of a nerd. If I could be paid to read and study and think and discern, I would be beside myself with bliss and euphoria. Talk about eudaemonia! Not surprisingly, then, my childhood and adolescence was peppered with nasty girls who thought I was totally lame because I was so brainy. My best friend - we were in church school together - was friends with most of these catty, hate-filled girls, so her birthday parties were always "interesting" for me. We all ended up at the same highschool, but I didn't spend much time with her at school because she was always surrounded by these nasties. I am not complaining. I am entirely aware that I have a brain and a scholarly inclination that most parents long for in their children. I'm no dumb-ey, and I'm glad.
But just today, I logged onto Facebook to see what's new with my friends (one of them is coming to town next week, and we're making plans to get together!) and one of the very catty girls from so long ago wants to add me to her list of friends. Friends?! We were never friends! We had friends, no, FRIEND, in common, and that was it! Why does she suddenly want to be buddies now? Frankly, it's weirding me out, and I honestly don't know what I'm doing to do about it. Should I just add her to my list of friends, or should I block it? I realise that, in the big picture, it doesn't matter, but I don't feel like living my internet "life" completely differently from the way I live my "real" life. I don't want to turn into one of those people you run into after years who wears a big fake smile and says "Wow, it's so great to see you, we should have coffee, I'll give you a call!" when both of you know, she's never calling, we are never having coffee, and it's not even that great to see her. I refuse to become THAT person. But is it just rude not to add her? I don't know.
Like I said, it's a silly dilemma.
I had a similar encounter after HS. Course this was before Facebook and MySpace, but two summers after graduation I ran into this chickie who never paid me the time of day in HS. If she ever spoke to me it was because she had to (assigned group projects, etc.).
ReplyDeleteI ran into her in the chip aisle of the grocery store and she's all like "Ohhh! It's soooo good to see you! How have you been???" all friendly and warm like. And I'll admit it, I did what the equivalent to hitting "deny" in your situation would be. I mumbled hello and I walked away. I wasn't about to engage in a fakey conversation with her. I've never regretted it. Maybe she was a good person and the HS environment just caused her to act like a beeyotch, but I don't lose any sleep over not reciprocating her friendly feelings that day near the Tostitos.