Thursday, June 25, 2009


We woke up at a normal hour this morning and had some breakfast in our suite. My sister-in-law brought us some groceries last night, so I was able to have a bowl of yogurt and some grapes from the fruit basket The Man's office had sent over yesterday afternoon. The Man took Wembley out for a walk, and came back about ten minutes later, rushing into the room. He told me he had run into one of the other residents from our building in the hallway, and that there was some news on the building. He recommended we get to the house, so I strapped on Peanut, and we walked over to the site with Wembley.

The official word is in: the city has condemned the building. Because it is condemned, we cannot enter the house. Contractors will be hired to retrieve as much as is salvageable, which in our case should be just about everything.

I will never set foot in our home again.


It is certainly true, and important to remember, that there were no fatalities, and that is a very fortunate thing. To call it miraculous would not be an exaggeration, considering the nature of the fire. What I keep hearing and reading is that "no lives were lost". I'm not sure that's an accurate assessment, though. It isn't just about our possessions, even. We lived in that home. It was our home.

We loved living there. Peanut spent her first summer, just a year ago, gazing out that living room window at the trees outside. She had just learned to crawl up our stairs. She had only just discovered, only just last week, how fun it could be to pull herself up at our nearly-floor-length bedroom window to look out, slapping her hands against the glass, and giving it kisses.

The life we built was in that home. We'll build another one, and the construction of that life has already begun, but the one we had is lost. We feel rather lost. As much as I am comforted to know that we'll more likely than not end up with most of our sentimental possessions, and not having to replace everything, I still just want to go home.

And I can't.


  1. I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I feel for you. Even though he's a big "boy" now and hasn't lived at home for over 10 years...hubby's mom is foreclosing on his childhood home next month. He grew up in that house. Did all the first things that Peanut did. And now he'll never get to go back...I can't imagine what you or MIL are going thru. But I even get a little misty--which I don't when I think about Chunky--that kid has had so many firsts in so many different zip codes!--because I had some firsts in that home too that I'm sad to see go. It's almost like a death in the family huh?

    Hugs. And don't worry, you'll be making new roots and memories soon. And Peanut will have an interesting story to tell about her early childhood.

  2. I just saw all this today. I'm so very grateful you all got out ok. But I'm also so very sorry you lost your home. Where I live the housing prices have plummeted. We bought our house last summer for half of what the original owner purchased the house for. If we tried to sell it now, a year later, it would sell for half of what we paid for it. Housing prices are a hot topic of conversation and people often ask if it makes me sick to keep paying on a home that is only worth half of what we paid for it. I just tell them how happy we have been here this past year, all the memories we've made, you can't put a price on that. I can't imagine what I would do if our home were suddenly gone. I can't imagine how you must feel. It is a like a death in the family, the death of a dream, the death of the future you thought you would have. Can I do anything?



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