This hasn't been our best week ever. Peanut has been whiney (we suspect teeth may be imminent) and I've been feeling a certain malaise. I have come to the realisation that I know absolutely no one 'in real life' who has similar attitudes about parenting as The Man and I. Now, I know that it doesn't matter, and I really don't feel the need for any validation: he and I are quite happy with how we are going about things and how we are planning to proceed. Still, it would be nice to have at least one fellow-parent friend, whom I can see and visit and with whom to share tea who wouldn't laugh at our ideas about solid foods or expound upon the merits of letting babies cry it out. Yes, I do plan to move my child straight to finger foods once she is physically capable of feeding herself, thus delaying solids for longer than most North American parents, and no, I do not think it necessary to let my baby girl cry without comforting her. That's just how we feel, and I don't expect everyone - or many people at all, for that matter - to agree with us. I don't feel sorry for myself, nor angry or irate...but it would be nice to have one like-minded friend in the city. And I don't.
With that in mind, I decided to spend today alone with my little girls, not thinking or hearing about what other people do: just doing our own thing. With a pleasant afternoon like today, I thought it best to take advantage and enjoy a nice long walk with my favourite babies. Glynis, Wembley and I strolled along the canal for a few lovely hours. There isn't much left of the autumn foliage, but it was very pretty, nonetheless. Ducks were out in force - mallards are a hardy sort - and there were lots of fallen leaves for Wembley to enjoy sniffing. Glynis slept for most of our walk, which was as I'd hoped: she naps best when we walk.
Wembley inspecting the ducks in the canal and the path toward the downtown core.
A little autumn sunshine and my attempt at a self-portrait. Peanut is hidden in the wrap, fast asleep.
All in all, a very lovely day.
I just went toe to toe with my pediatrician at my baby's last check up. At nine months my ped insisted that she should be sleeping 12 hours straight with no waking, and if she wasn't I needed to let her cry until she did. Well, my girl still gets up once a night, sometimes two or three, or even four times on a bad night. But guess what, all my kids slept 12 hours straight by 14 months, and she's right on track to do the same. and since I'm the one who has to get up with her, no my ped, I don't know why she cared so much. I simply can not let my child cry it out. I have a physical reaction to their screams where I just NEED to make it stop. Parenting is hard. I think sometimes people want you to make the same choices they did because it somehow validates their choices. You're doing fine. fwiw, my third child skipped pureed food and went straight to table food at 7 1/2 month, I loved it! And she's no worse for the wear (and I bf her exclusively until she started table food) You can't tell by looking which child got to cry it out, and who's cries were answered. You can't tell you was bottle fed, or breast fed for only six months, or one year, or three. Sometimes the right answer in these situations is simply the answer that works for you and your family. I'm sorry I'm not close so we could walk our babies together.
ReplyDeletewhew, that had a lot of typos. can we blame that on sleep deprivation from a sick baby?
ReplyDeleteTime will help. You'll get this your whole life. It's finger foods and not crying it out now--and later it will be pg13 v. R rated movies and whether or not you let her get her ears pierced when here friends all have earrings. And it won't end there. Chatty Cathy's freaking daugher is my age and I still have to listen to her complain about how her daughter doesn't parent the way SHE did. Oye!!!
ReplyDeleteI'll be honest, I'm not a big fan of making friends just because we were both able to pop out a kid--whether our parenting styles are the same or not. Don't get me wrong. I love my boy, and being a mom is part of who I am--but it's only PART. There's more to this mess called Bezzie!
My DD actually chose when she wanted to move to solids. She'd been in NICU for two months, not allowed to eat due to intestinal surgery for most of that time, but took to "boob food" like a champ. We were expecting to wait for some time before introducing actual solids, due to allergies and her history (and she was about 3 wks premature, got to love eclampsia).
ReplyDeleteBut at about four months, I was nursing her at the table one night, and she started to grab a noodle off my plate and stuff it into her mouth. It wasn't run-of-the mill curiosity, either...she GOT it that that was "food" and you could tell she totally wanted it! She couldn't have any milk products of any kind (nor could I, BFing her) due to severe allergies (which she's thankfully outgrown) but she loved to eat from as soon as she could. We went to our ped and asked about feeding, as we had totally planned to wait, and she said to try it and see what happened, as weight gain was an issue for us due to the prematurity, surgery, and milk issues thanks to the eclampsia.
Well, she's 13 now, nearly as tall as I am, and loves to eat (vegetarian only) -- and no allergies!
So, although delaying feeding is "optimal," every baby's needs are different. We got a LOT of raised eyebrows in our very liberal community because DD was eating "early" -- but she kept stealing food off my plate, and wanting to eat it, and well, what's a mom to do? She was clearly "ready"!